as a single seventeen-year-old, i don’t know much about love

but i do know enough to

know that it hurts

help others love

but i know for a fact that

i’m going to love you so much

angel,

if you hear a ping! from your phone

it’s probably me

sending you a song that reminds me of us

expressing how proud of you i am

but most of all, it’s probably me

telling you how much i love you

(will you smile when you hear your phone go off?

roll your eyes in faux exasperation?)

baby,

if you feel a warm weight from behind

it’s probably me

hugging onto you so tightly

resting my head on your shoulder

but most of all, it’s probably me

reminding you how much you comfort me

(will you hold me in your arms?

let me bury my heard in the crook of your neck?)

darling,

if you taste something sweet in your mouth

it’s probably me

gifting you a box of your favorite chocolates

shoving a freshly baked cookie into your mouth

but most of all, it’s probably me

kissing you after i swipe some cookie dough from the bowl

(will you surprise me with a gift of your own?

fret about getting sick from the raw eggs?)

honey,

if you smell something familiar from the kitchen

it’s probably me

brewing you a cup of coffee with two sugar cubes and a dollop of cream

(just how you like it)

fixing both of us a boxed lunch for the long day ahead

but most of all, it’s probably me

bustling about the kitchen with the scent of your shampoo and body wash

(will you take the knife from me oh so gently to cut the carrots?

have picked up my dry cleaned suit that i forgot to yesterday?)

sweetheart,

if you see nothing but darkness enveloping you

it’s probably me

blindfolding you to take you out on a surprise date

showing you the tiny stars up in the night sky

but most of all, it’s probably me

sleeping softly next to you

(will you enjoy the tranquility of the night?

say something cheesy, like how “there’s light when i’m with you”?)

as a single seventeen-year-old, the present seems so bleak

i often feel empty as the days drag longer

but i’m constantly reminded by the prospect of you

oh, i’m going to love you so much, love

– kaylan so

03.04.2021